What is a real man?

What is a real man? Many different people think many different things. I know that I am young (25) but I have had my share of experiences and helped my friends go through things all involving men. A real man is NOT someone who lays his hands on a woman, tears her down emotionally, can produce a half dozen kids but can't be financially responsible, little lone emotionally responsible for them, someone who moves from one family to the next, someone who can't do anything with their lives, won't try to do anything with their lives, uses excuses for everything, everything that happens is everyone else's fault. Someone who can't care and appreciate the woman he's with, can't make her feel worth it or good enough, someone who would rather hurt you than protect you. Everyone's opinions I'm sure slightly vary but I think their are certain traits that make a "real man". First someone who takes care of the person they love, they help them out financially, emotionally, dutifully  Makes sure that they take care of themselves, cares about their well being, loves and protects his mate. Secondly, someone who takes care of his children in all ways. No matter what his relationship with the mother, even if they fight all the time, it's not in front of the kids, he tries to compromise, he buys things for the children, gives money to the mother for the children, takes the children, spends time with the children, makes sure he takes care of things, he owns up to his own shit. A real man is not afraid to tell the world about how much he loves the person he is in love with, he isn't afraid to be affectionate, sweet or adoring. A real man is someone who is willing to step up to the plate for the person he loves and take care of kids that aren't his own, be there as a father figure, play with them, spend time with them, help support them, even though it's not his responsibility. Making sure their mother is taken care of and taking care of herself, helping to be a parent, being a father figure that he has no responsibility to be, all the while totally stepping up to the plate with his own child, taking care of her in all ways and making sure the mother is even taking care of herself, he helps pay bills, he works his ass off to make sure his family is taken care of, he is willing to be a family to another man's kids. He's sweet, compassionate and loving, he does little things all the time to show the person he loves that he loves them, he makes sweet, romantic gesture just to make his partner feel good, he takes care of her when she's sick, works his hands to the bone and still helps keeps the house clean so his wife isn't in constant pain. He loves his partner, everything about them and everything included with them and does all he can to help her, love her and make her happy. He compromises, understands and is always a little afraid to lose her because he loves her. He looks past horrible mistakes she's made because he loves her, he forgives her flaws, her imperfection and just see how much she means to him. He makes dinner for her, writes for her, sings to her, plays songs for her. He never has and never would lay a hand on the person he loves in anger, even if she clings to him, but he'll play wrestle, tickle her and love to make her laugh. He takes care of his responsibilities and steps up to responsibilities that aren't his for the person he loves. He makes her feel special and amazed by him.

People baffle me

Ok. I just need to vent some rational thought. If it pisses anyone off, I guess I'm sorry. But hearing complaints of Christian persecution BAFFLES me! I respect other people's beliefs and their right to have them, absolutely. I pray with my mom at her house, I've gone to church with my grandmother, it's simply respect. But Christians are the MAJORITY! That would be like me saying that white persecution needs to end, people would think I was daft! Why? I'm sure it does happens in some places, but it's because as the majority we caused the reasons that these beliefs are held. Slavery, genocide, war, segregation...the list of terrible things that have been done to other races by the "majority" goes on. Persecution BY the majority is a much larger issue then persecution OF the majority! Bigotry and hatred run rampant through the world but it's justified because it's "in the name of God", of course some, perhaps even most, are not like that but it's guilt by association because of the MAJORITY! It's easy to look through history and see the genocide, persecution of others for different beliefs, sexual orientation, lifestyle, or anything that goes against the bible or Christian beliefs, even to the point of extremists but as I said there is always exceptions to the rule. Still it doesn't matter, because majority rules. Please don't piss and moan about being persecuted for your beliefs when people who share your beliefs are the majority, who use said BELIEFS to persecute OTHERS...

Photos to help a family!

David is a typical man with 4 children who just finished his military service, yet he finds himself in extraordinary circumstances. Left in Texas after finishing his military duties with his four children ages 6 to 16 in New Hampshire with no way to get home. Like any loving parent, he's concerned about not being there for the welfare of his children but does not have the finances to come home. In an effort to help David fund his way home family and friends are doing what they can to fundraise. An amazing photographer has offered her services to anyone in the area willing to donate to this cause. She will do a photo shoot of your choice for donations. Sasha Gelinas has had me model for her and recently photographed my handfasting in March. Please check out her work at gelinasphotography.weebly.com
If you are looking for personal pictures, family pictures, pregnancy, she does it all. This is a worthy cause and the photos are definitely worth a donation. If you would like to donate and are outside the area, a PayPal account has been set up for donations. PayPal donations can be gifted to: David.powe@yahoo.com

David would also like everyone to know that anything he receives above and beyond what he needs to get home, will be donated to the MSPCA and the Wounded Warrior Project

Please help David find his way home to his children!

An awesome, creative, woman that everyone should know about!!

I'm not really into the modeling scene but I do have to admit that I love alternative models. I love their individuality and creativeness. I have a good friend who is an amazing model, she is gorgeous, creative, unique, strong willed and one of the sweetest people you will ever meet. This girl could definitely be going places. Kayla, who goes by the name Edible, is a 25 year old alternative model that lives in Pittsburg, PA. Edible is from a small town called Barrington,NH. She lived there for 23 years before moving to Pittsburg to pursue modeling.

She began having a fetish for alternative modeling at the age of 18. She became more serious about being in front of a camera at 22 and has been consistently modeling for the last 4 years. She says she absolutely loves it and it definitely compliments her creative personality! When asked what makes her want to model she responded "I live and breathe art and I like to grab people's attention. I keep my look bold and unique. Always a chameleon."

Creatively she is also a very hands on person. She makes her own jewelry and does lots of crafting such as sewing, painting, and more!
Edible says "It's all about love and I live life to the fullest!"
She is kick-ass, very kind hearted and a beautiful soul! She is an animal lover and even owns a few fur babies of her own.
Please check out her at:Edible's Facebook page

How much pain can one heart take?

A heart is a strange thing, it can be broken into a million pieces, a million times and continues to beat without rhyme or reason. At some point in life everyone has their heart broken at least once. I've definitely had my fair share. The worst being when my barely toddler son's leg was broken and I had a mental break down but every time is devastating none the less. Love is a painful thing, no matter who it is that you love. What I have recently discovered is what really stings is when you're in love with someone but they don't love you back. It's worse to know it's your own fault and the reason that they used to be in love with you and aren't anymore is because of your own naive mistakes. You had your life, your future, your dreams all laid out in front of you with this amazing person but like everything else you screwed it up. It tears you apart inside to be confused. To be told they don't love you anymore, you'll never get married, you'll never be in a serious relationship, things will never change. But then be told that they still care about you, they still want to be with you, they have no desire to be with anyone else. How does that even begin to make sense? I suppose it then begs the question, is it because the only other option they have besides you they don't want to deal with? So you're the best option. They act like they're not even attracted to you most of the time and you feel repugnant. Crying all the time, that's all you seem to do. You try your hardest to change things, give everything you can to make thing different but nothing works. You would give anything to make things the way they work but you can't change the past. Deep seeded sadness and anxiousness a constant staple in your day to day life crippling you at times. Your mind never stopping, just buzzing with what ifs, what used to be, what might have been's and hopes. But nothing you do stops the pain. In reality, there is simply nothing you can do. Your heart breaks once more and you cling on to the pieces for dear life. No matter how many times their words sting and cut you, you can't stop caring, mostly because you blame yourself. It happens once again, your pieced together heart is shattered into a million little pieces and you feel as though you're dying. They some days they only love you as a friend, sometimes they say they lied about things, sometimes they say things won't work and they think they'll end up cheating but yet your heart won't let you let go. They break your heart more and more into a thousand pieces and for some strange reason you still love them with all the little pieces....why does the heart have to be so stupid and naive?

Oh cruel world.... a mother's heartache

This time of year is hard for me, for a few reasons. The main one being that 3 years ago on December 16th, my then 2 and 1/2 year old son had his leg severely broken by my sister's 35 year old ex boyfriend. Almost the entire length of my son's tiny tibia was separated almost an inch apart vertically. Both the attending ER physician and the orthopedist said that the break was caused by adult strength, blunt force trauma. After a week to come up with something and an ever changing story at that, my sister's ex claimed that he had been playing with my son and fell on top of him but assumed he was okay because he crawled back to his bed. Within the numerous orthopedist visits I asked all the questions. Could he have gotten his leg caught in his bed? Could my niece have hit him with a toy? Could he somehow have done it himself? If Michael was telling telling the truth was it even possible for him to crawl back to his bed with the severity of the break? Medically, none of it was possible. There was no way my son could have put enough pressure on himself to crawl back to his bed without being in agony, it just wasn't possible. But yet Michael Nemeth was never even arrested. The bastard got away with it. It came to light afterwards that Michael had allegations of child abuse brought against him by an ex in New York before he moved here but the charges were dropped and no one was the wiser. He had also just gotten off probation for drunkenly threatening his infant daughter's life but was sober at this time. The night my son's leg was broken still burns in my mind like it was yesterday. My sister and I needed to pick up a few things and get the last of our christmas shopping done. We got my son, my niece and my daughter bathed and in bed before she and I left for the store leaving my husband and her daughter's father Michael home playing video games in my bedroom. My sister and I lived together along with our kids and significant others. My son and my niece are the same age so they shared a bedroom next to my sister's bedroom upstairs. My bedroom was downstairs. What I was told was that Michael said he had to go check on a file he was trying to burn on his computer in my sister's bedroom, my husband said that he came out to go to the bathroom and heard crying upstairs but that it didn't sound like anything out of the ordinary and my niece and my son sounded very similar. When I came home from the store I stopped in the doorway, which was at the bottom of the stairwell, with my arms full of bags and yelled to my husband to come help me carry things. As soon as I spoke my son started screaming for me and I knew that it was pain. I don't think I could of gotten up those stairs any faster and my husband followed. My son said his knee hurt badly. My husband picked him up and brought him into the light. we unzipped his little footy pj's just to the knee and saw a couple small bruises. My husband went to set him down and I immediately saw that he couldn't bear weight on his leg and grabbed him. Concerned, I brought him downstairs to get a better look at his leg. I laid him on the couch in my bedroom and as soon as I fully unzipped his pj's and saw his leg, I felt more panic than I have ever felt in my entire life. There were 3 large lumps down the length of his leg and it was severely bruised, I immediately knew it was broken just from my nursing experience. I screamed to my sister, I needed to get him to the hospital as soon as possible, I needed her to watch my infant daughter. Michael started crying, no one thought anything of it, we assumed it was concern and our first priority was my son. We waited for hours in the emergency room. As we sat waiting I held my small son in my lap, I cried as he cried. He cried and writhed in pain with the slightest movement or touch of his leg, it was like being tortured as I sat there unable to help my son. After he was seen the doctor immediately said all the medical evidence showed that it was adult strength, blunt force trauma and it was deemed child abuse, the authorities were then called to begin an investigation. We knew right then that it was Michael and I rushed my husband home to get my daughter out of that house. When my husband went to get my daughter, my sister followed him out to the driveway to confront him and ask him if he really thought it was Michael? Who else could it have been and she cried because she knew. My husband and I were questioned at the hospital and the investigator told us then that they didn't believe it was either one of us. I was an emotional train wreck. I called my mother from the hospital to tell her what had happened and asked her to take the kids for the night, I wanted them no where remotely near Michael. After my mother picked my kids up in the wee hours of the morning, we headed home. There stood police officers, questioning my sister and Michael and then they questioned my husband and I again. I swear to everything I believe in, if there weren't officers there when we got home, there's a great chance I would of killed him without a second thought but being so emotional the officers made sure they kept him away from us. I spent the entire night wrapping Christmas presents to occupy myself because there was no way I was sleeping. The next day my sister brought Michael to her father's so he was out of the house but we knew where he was. I didn't sleep a wink for almost 2 days. My medications were changed and increased, I was put on one anxiety medication after the other as I spiraled into depression with constant anxiety. We waited months for the investigation to turn up something, I mean just from physician testimony alone and Michael's bullshit confession surely there was something? After months of tension, anxiety, and waiting we were finally told that they had nothing solid enough to bring charges forward and the case was dropped without him so much as being arrested. The judicial system failed my family and more importantly, my young son. I lost my mind quite literally. How could I have failed so badly? Why wasn't I there to protect my child? I wanted to die. My doctor feared that the new medication I was on could be contributing to some of my depression and I was admitted to a hospital for 4 days to be stabilized and have my medication changed. After a struggle to get into recovery for my children, eventually I was able to cope better, although things are still tough for me around the holidays because I remember my daughter's first christmas barely a week later, my son sat in a hip cast. He wasn't able to walk for 2 months and then had a walking cast for another 5 weeks. Even now, especially this time of year, I am still plagued with questions. Why wasn't I there? How could I have failed so badly as a parent? Why did my husband not check on him that night? Does my son blame me? Why was there no justice? I will never have my answers. Now all I can do is my best for my children, and while I do that I will never stop seeking justification for the wrongs done to my family, seeking vengeance for the pain my son endured. My heart breaks thinking about my son, so small, still in diapers, sippy cup in hand, still the most happy go lucky little boy, even when he wasn't able to walk. Who could do that to a baby? I know logically that there was nothing I could have done to stop it, my sister and I weren't there but yet I still feel guilty. I know my sister feels guilty too, especially since it was her boyfriend at the time. I have never and will never even remotely blame my sister, in fact I am thankful for her, she was one of my biggest support systems during the months that the investigation was going on and even after as I mentally broke down, for that I am forever grateful. Now I feel I need some kind of justice, it's sick to me that the police just let this child be hurt and let the abuser go free. So I have started a website, a facebook page and a petition to have the case re-investigated. What else can I do? My son is now 5, and I am his mother, it's my job to make sure the right thing is done by him and I will damn well do everything in my power to make sure that happens.

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This world is going to hell. It's disgusting

Big business, corporations, the film industry. All of it is corrupt scum. First I learn that 27 animals were maimed or killed during the filming of "The Hobbit". Seriously? What kind of sick shit is that?!?! What kind of person or people for that matter would be ok with that? I don't care how much you're being paid have some fucking moral fiber! Peter Jackson you disgust me for letting this happen on your movie sets!
Secondly, I find out that Hostess went out of business and Hostess is blaming unions. When in fact Hostess was giving their CEOs 300% bonuses but couldn't afford to pay it's employees! I'm so baffled by the way capitalism has run rampant over our country and even over taken democracy. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried! Through the campaign for presidency this year, what the candidates didn't want you to know was how they had corporate sponsors. FUCKING CORPORATE SPONSORS!?! What is this Nascar? NO, it's our country, our political affairs, our freedoms, our rights! Everyone should know this and be appalled! Sears-Roebuck was one of the biggest corporate sponsors in the pockets of the politicians, what the hell? Then there was good ole' Mitt Romney, a millionaire, a draft dodger and an electoral candidate as the next leader of our country. Does anyone else see something wrong with this? I'm not saying Obama is perfect, by no means is he. I'm glad he's made so many strides in equal rights but he's got a long way to go on our economy and this joke of a health care plan. Universal health care is great in theory but we need to take a page from Canada and make it free, not penalize the middle class when it comes time to do taxes because they couldn't afford to pay the outrageous prices of HMO's. In all honesty, having worked in the medical field, I know all to well how HMO's work and all they're after is the almighty dollar just like any other industry in this great nation. Major surgery? Heart attack? Aneurysm? Stroke? Your doctor better be on your side and willing to fight hard for you if you need to spend more than a week in a hospital. 3 days to a week, depending on the HMO is the max time they allow before they try to push you through the system. I've seen it too many times, it's sickening. Then you have the sick bastards who want to be infamous and because our world is such a struggle, they don't choose to try and do good things and try to be remembered for something positive because it's so hard to do that anymore. Instead they decide to gain infamy by shooting up an elementary school and killing a bunch of 6 and 7 year olds. My son is almost 6 and I home school him for exactly this reason. Everyone has their beliefs, values, morals, OBVIOUSLY some much more than others, so people say it's because religion isn't taught enough, God isn't allowed in schools, wingnuts like the Westboro Baptist Church CELEBRATING and protesting these poor, young souls funerals because they claim it was in "God's plan" and "God sent the shooter". I really wish I was kidding and that people like this didn't really exist but the sad reality is, that they do and we need to put a stop to it. Because of these delusional fucktards states are passing laws against protesting. This is a direct infringement on our first amendment right to free speech, so people like the 99% protest are illegal, but the facts are that the laws weren't passed because of peaceful protests to right the wrongs in our nation, they were passed because of these sick people who have said things such as they are glad our soldiers are dying, they hope 8,000 more die, God hates fags, protesting military funerals, among many, many, other things. I applaud the hacker group ANONYMOUS and their message to the Westboro Baptist church. Anonymous released a video that went viral in a matter of hours, telling the church that they were sick of the things they were doing and they were already working on destroying them, at the same time releasing the leaders of the church's personal information, including home addresses. I hope they succeed, I truly hope. It's people like this that make a mockery of anything good that religion claims. It's my belief that religion doesn't need to be shoved down everyone's throat, it doesn't have a place being taught in public schools simply because there are so many different religions, and really all of them have the same basic principals. Do I believe that morality, values and respect need to be taught? ABSOLUTELY, but I don't believe it needs to be done so through religion. I don't necessarily think it should be so steadfastly opposed in schools either, for instance, if a child feels the need to bow their head in a silent prayer, who are we to say anything to stifle the child's faith. They aren't preaching out loud, they aren't announcing their beliefs, they aren't harming anyone. Everyone needs something to believe in and our country now more than ever needs to teach peace and not hatred.

On that note, I hope everyone has happy holidays and Merry whatever doesn't piss you off!
~Rainbow~